It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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