Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Welp...herpes.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
