it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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