someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
