I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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