If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
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