the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
