Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
