Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
