Where is the hickey?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
