As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
