The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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