We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
time to smoke my breakfast
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
