My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize