once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
