Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
