Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
