This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
