So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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