does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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