Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
