I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
