What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we made out on top of his cat.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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