He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
