My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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