Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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