i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
