So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
