Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
