I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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