Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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