I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
