the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
