she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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