It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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