so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
