what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
