real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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