Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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