Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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