and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
