I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize