This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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