I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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