i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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