apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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