Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
