Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
