Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
