you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
