Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
