i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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