problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
