Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She's the barista slut.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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