We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
