You're my little dorito
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
