Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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