Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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