i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
